We better turn a corner soon!

I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. Cooper is a grump non-stop. I know he is in pain. I know that it isn't comfortable and that he doesn't understand why he hurts. But MAN the whining is getting to me. And the lack of sleep... ugh, I'm so done.

We went to the emergency room with Cooper yesterday (chalk up another chunk of change to our medical debts) because he was coughing up blood. This is a sight that I never want to see again. I called the drs office and the nurse was not happy with the amount of blood that was coming out so she told us to go to the ER. Turns out that it was just the scabs coming off his incisions and he was fine. They sent us home and told us to come back if it happened again. Thanks. So much.

This was dinner time a couple nights ago. Cooper refused to come to the dinner table and just wanted to lay on the couch and watch Baby Einstein. Not more than two minutes later, this is how we found him.

I'm just so tired. Not only am I physically tired from getting up every hour to tuck Cooper in again because he is screaming, but I'm emotionally tired. I can't handle the fact that he hasn't eaten in NINE days. He has only had water, apple juice and yogurt. The boys ribs are sticking out now. He doesn't want to do anything. He just sits around and whines about everything. I can't get any work done, I don't want anyone else watching him in case something happens, and I'm ignoring Kaelyn and her school work because Cooper takes up every moment of the day. It's exhausting. We better be "turning a corner" soon (which we've been told by the drs office that this SHOULD happen any day - although they've been telling us that since Friday).

Stick a fork in me... I'm done.

Cooper's Tonsillectomy

Well, we are in day 6 post-op and there is a reason that I haven't posted this entry yet. I have been CONSTANTLY (day and night) by Cooper's side - well, except for the 5 hours on Saturday that my mom relieved us from our parenting duties. :) Post-op recovery has been WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY harder than I anticipated. I knew there would be pain. I knew there would be hard moments of whining. What I didn't anticipate was CONSTANT pain, constant whining, and constant worrying on my part. Let's start with surgery day....

We got to the hospital around 9:30am and got all checked in. We had some slight issues with keeping Cooper from eating anything all morning, but thanks to the helpful hints to Kaelyn to not mention anything food related we were able to do what we needed. Cooper finally went into surgery around 11:30am. He was only in surgery about 20 minutes when the dr came out and told us that is was a REALLY good thing we took everything out because they were huge. Here are some pictures from the day

Getting all checked in

Playing in the playroom down the hall while waiting for "our turn"

After taking the "happy medicine" which made Cooper so relaxed. It was HILARIOUS to watch him as he couldn't control his body at all. Jeff and I were laughing so hard.

After surgery - really wanting that IV taken out!

At home by about 3:30pm with his chocolate milkshake

So, it's all good after that day, right? Uh - SO wrong. Tuesday wasn't too bad. He played nicely through the day, although he did take two naps. Wednesday morning wasn't so good, but after a good nap in the afternoon he had a great afternoon and evening. Thursday all went downhill. He became whiney and refused all medications. What he had been eating in the two days before he started refusing. By Friday we noticed that he was starting to come down with a cold on top of the fact that he was miserable and in pain from the surgery. Of all the days, I really think that today has been the worst. I have a feeling that the scabs are starting to come off because he has been so clingy today, pale, and really, really in pain. We took a peek at his throat this evening and it is completely white and covered in white scabs (I know - TMI). It looks HORRIBLY painful and I can't believe he is even wanting to drink anything. He has been pretty good about getting liquids into himself although I think he could use a few more. He will only eat yogurt so we're giving it to him whenever he asks for it. I've read that a lot of drs recommend against milk products, but if it's what he wants and it's the only thing he'll eat - well, then, milk products it is. He is so congested from his cold and has snot coming from his nose constantly. It can't be comfortable. I can't wait for this whole thing to be over with. I'm anticipating that today through probably Tuesday will be pretty bad. We're hoping at that point in time we hit a turning point. I found this great post about toddlers and there recovery from tonsillectomies. It's pretty spot on with Cooper. http://http://typeamama.blogspot.com/2008/05/recovery-for-toddler-tonsillectomy.html.

As for myself - I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get my happy-go-lucky baby back. :-(

I know that I haven't written in awhile. I haven't had much to say in the way of positive things so I've kind of remained quiet. I figured I didn't need to have a whole week of entries just with me complaining. :) So, this is what has happened in the past 10 days. We celebrated my mom's birthday. This is one of my favorite pictures from the night. Two of my favorite girls! :)

We also have had TONS of nice weather. The kids and I took advantage of the sunshine and spent a lot of time outside. One day I actually remembered to bring my camera to the park. They had so much fun and I must say we all had a better afternoon after spending sometime in the sun.

This past Saturday Jeff did me a HUGE favor by taking the kids away from the house so I could work on some custom orders I've received (5 order totalling over 28 diapers!!!!). I spent the day inside sewing while they went and enjoy the sunshine and all the animals at the zoo. Here are some pictures from their adventure.

Cooper's tonsils and adnoids surgery was today. I'm hoping to do a seperate post with some pictures and a full explanation of the day's events. :)

One more thing

As if I needed one more thing to stress me out or make me depressed...

Jeff called me at lunch today to tell me that as of tomorrow he will be unemployed. Great - thanks. I'm so stressed about our finances enough as it is, not having an income will help that so much. That and the fact that Kaelyn needs a crown on her tooth (which is scheduled to be done next week), Cooper has blisters on his rear end and needs a prescription filled to fix that issue, and I just found out that I have cholesterol & trygliceride issues that I need to start taking medication for. None of which we now have money to fill, fix, or pay for. And the fact that now that I'll be taking pills for my cholesterol it means I'm officially old.

Just pile it on. Why not.

Whiney

WARNING: Here is the post where I whine a LOT, complain about my children and sound totally and completely ungrateful for my life. So, if you don't want to read about that, then please skip over this post entirely because it will just depress you.

I'm feeling awful this week. It's a combination of things - PMS, the middle of winter blues (which happens to me EVERY year), the lack of money, the amount of debt, the economy, and a two year old who is getting new molars. I want to cry at the drop of a hat. Jeff says one thing to me (like last night asking me to put the silverware in the dishwasher differently - totally not a big deal) and I feel like all I want to do is climb into bed and not get out of it for about a week. I feel like a horrible mom because I don't get down on the floor and do puzzles ALL DAY LONG with my 2 year old. Heck, I haven't even done that for 5 minutes in the last couple weeks. I feel like a horrible mother because my 7 year old is sassy and lazy. I feel like a horrible teacher because we aren't doing school today because we had a horrible trip to the grocery store this morning (imagine screaming toddler for an hour in a public place) and I'm just too emotionally tired to argue with my daughter about doing her phonics work. She did weigh everything at the grocery store - does that count as school?

Anyway, I get in this cyclical thought process. I really feel like I need a vacation. Somewhere sunny, without kids, where I can just veg, read a book, and actually SEE my spouse for longer than 10 minutes without a computer or the phone coming between us. But then I remember how much money we DON'T have and how we will never be able to afford a vacation like this for, oh say, another 10 years. Depressing. Completely depressing.

My kids are driving me to the brink of insanity. Cooper is getting his two year molars and has master the WHINE. Nothing drives me more crazy that whining. Every. Single. Thing. is whining or "no". I love the kid, but MAN is he annoying right now. Geesh.

Kaelyn has been testing the waters to see how far she can push us. Thankfully, she is helpful 95% of the time. But the other 5% feels like I'm dealing with a teenager. I'm so not prepared for those teen years with a girl.

And all this complaining and whining on my own part depress me even more. The amount of guilt I feel for just THINKING these things makes me more depressed. I feel like I'm so ungrateful. Like I just need a swift kick in the pants. I feel like I'm such a horrible person for not feeling all gushy and mushy over my family and my kids right now. I stink.

So, there you have it. My super, duper whiney post. I'm sure you are so glad you read this, huh?

Oh, and by the way... Happy Birthday mom! LOL